AAAhaus

SRY GUYZ

2009-05-31T00:26:00.000-07:00

BE BACK SOON (workinonitworkinonit)

OKAY, CUPID...ENOUGH ALREADY

2009-05-29T18:24:00.001-07:00

recently paul wald thought it would be a good idea to sign up for okcupid.com and since i'm always looking for an excuse to spend more time on the internet and away from real life, naturally i jumped on board. i made my profile stoned and decided on "ruhot4teacher" as my name and as a friend just pointed out to me i made my biggest mistake here...

long story short i've gotten some hilarious messages from mostly ugly asian dudes (sorry) but also from someone named "karmic_fire" who wants thinks our 20 year age difference is sexy, like fucking his students :( :( :(.

here are some other funny messages:

oh...thanks for the warning...

i've been looking for someone to talk about what an awesome girl i am with!!!

there are an extremely disproportionate amount of jewish males on okcupid

oh, and i also got this message a few minutes ago reminding me that i'm single and female and therefore i have a lot of time to spend on okcupid

well...at least okcupid guys want me "so bad" and my personality is "really great"

: ( FML,

TAKE ME WITH YOU

2009-05-28T04:33:00.000-07:00

CANT WAIT

whatever happened to pants?

2009-05-25T04:24:00.000-07:00

im going to systematically pee on every fucking historical building in oxford,

GET ME THE OUT OF HERE, PLZ.

wald, who needs a man?

2009-05-23T09:32:00.001-07:00

it's extremely possible that i will want to see a penis at somepoint.

love,

anna

SUNDAZED

2009-05-23T08:24:00.000-07:00

this is pretty much what i imagine next year to be like

wtf.

people under the eclairs

2009-05-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

i can safely say i'm leaving this year feeling exactly the same as i did last year. and i'm not liking it.

true story

2009-05-21T06:24:00.000-07:00

yeah thats me.

ROSE COLORED FUTURE

2009-05-17T18:22:00.001-07:00

the future is really looking like:

while the next few weeks is feeling like:

apartment accessory masturbation

2009-05-17T12:37:00.001-07:00

this reminded me of sam/mandy

SCHOOLS OUT 4 SUMMER,

ALR

i tried to find a free photoshop thing on the internet so i could put a wiener in heidi montag's mouth

2009-05-15T10:05:00.000-07:00

but all i could do was this instead

:( :( :( :(

Direct quotes from Wald's Live Journal:

2009-05-14T23:21:00.000-07:00

"last night i had a dream i was spitting then i woke up and i had spit on my pillow and i had to turn it over before i could go back to sleep".

"me and rashida made a a myspace. we're such hipsters".

"i'm making a resolution to make life more like a Blur song".

"this girl in the play's nipple was showing when she was dancing".

"did i mention that i stole beer from a party, then i looked at it when i got home and it was NON-ALCOHOLIC".

"i'm gonna be 17 for another year i've decided".

my hero <3333

making out

2009-05-14T10:04:00.000-07:00

Here are the things I have to do:

1. finish conference paper

2. find a new don

3. do some important shit i'm supposed to do

Here are the things I want:

uGH, i'm not doing any of this....i'm eating tacos and watching popular.

LOSER LIFE,

ALR

oh p.s. A girls- since you are so content on airing out farting secrets-

i couldn't find any of amanda, but good enough

you guys i dont hate babies or pregnant people (that much) (anymore.)

2009-05-13T00:27:00.000-07:00

sorry awald but...

2009-05-12T23:07:00.000-07:00

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS US

2009-05-12T11:57:00.000-07:00

Fuck guess i have to buy a striped shirt

great minds think a-stripe.

2009-05-12T10:17:00.000-07:00

Anna, are we wearing the same shirt today?

e-z rider, e-z wider

2009-05-12T09:27:00.000-07:00

While Mandy has covered the weirdness of turning your child into an internet phenomenon/ retard, I also think it's pretty

weird how everyone these days seems to think their child is a genius, shitting gold. Earlier this year I was stoney-eyed in the early morning watching infomercials and I happened upon one entitled "YOUR BABY CAN READ". Here is their website-

www.yourbabycanread.com

What happened to cherishing the moments before they can properly understand what mommy's "j-o-i-n-t" and daddy's "b-l-o-w-j-o-b-s" spell? Maybe I am a bad person, but I think I will hope for dyslexia, and in turn get away with more for longer. Also, ok, what about Indigo Children??? Those kids have paranormal abilities AND ADD!!! What are they evolving into, Sylvia Browne?

Here is a pic of Sylvia, the future of our children, with montell:

Also, left to our own devices this summer I have a feeling me and Wald are going to do this:

And I will be wearing lot's of these:

LATER DUDES,

-A.R.

the art of baby in the age of mechanical reproduction...

2009-05-11T22:30:00.001-07:00

...is literally the paper I am writing. Anna Wald, bear with me...this covers your baby hate, too. Because I mean there's this thing called the KICKBEE where moms-to-be will be able to hook their bellies up to facebook and digitally express their fetus' movements. I imagine it to look something like this:
3:69 pm
I kicked Mommy's placenta
4:20 am
I ate some digested momfood using a cord that goes into my bellybutton

And then you gotta imagine all these facebook moms reading their kickbee homepages. (Tagged photos: Some Mom's Sonogram, Highlights:......). WHAT.
But also I'm writing in terms of "digitally native" babies and the way their parents create them (love them?) as nothing but virtual personas on the internet before they can speak. When so many kids grow up....
THINK ABOUT THIS:

He's right..IT'S NOT FUNNY. Put the camera down. Talk to your son about blood. Help your wife with your bloody baby, right?
Over six million people have watched that dad's video.
WHEN SO MANY KIDS GROW UP...
and find themselves on the internet:

2009-05-11T09:12:00.001-07:00

I don't know about wald, but I always liked glam Courtney. She looks so clean. and inquisitive.

next year

2009-05-11T05:48:00.000-07:00

is gonna be great.

Taking Our Blogs Virginity

2009-05-11T01:49:00.000-07:00

It's 4:49 a.m. and I'm still awake. I can't wait until Anna and Amanda live here and my apartment is cute and actually resembles a place that I would want to live. OK, it looks like a place I would want to live now(maybe...), but specifically, I can't wait until Anna and Amanda (& seymour) live with me.

I just walked home from attempting to sleep on

campus, but it didn't work and I came back here to watch Freaks and Geeks and eat f

rozen pizza. I wish that I had more interesting things to discuss with the internet,

but I think that I'm officially a "liz lemon" and spend most of my life (a.k.a. the

past two weeks) eating frozen dinner and weird ethnic chips and like, being a slob. This is what I've been thinking about a lot since I sat down on my couch.

I really really

love Jason Segel. This is his penis.

THANK ME LATER,

LOVE A.R. <3<3<3